Shoes Help Us Fly? (Pffft)

Little Helicopters Or Air Max Shoes?

Obviously certain types of shoes can keep you in the air for a while – longer than others thanks to some bouncy bouncy rubber probably obtained illegally from a third world country – but something that can really keep you in the air for much longer is getting yourself a number of drones – cheap drones (good value for money flying machines ) and you attach those drones to a chair and you sync all those little helicopters together with the one remote control unit and then you use the power of their propellers to lift you off the ground.

Drones Are The New Shoes?

Which will impress everybody that knows you.

Make sure you do it outside during the daytime…So if you want to impress your neighbors make sure you fly your own chair during the day and not after 6 p.m when the sky is black and nobody can see you.




You want the people to see you and to realize what an incredible person you are. Sure you sucked at school and didn’t get an SAT but now you’re flying around their neighborhood.

You had the idea to buy 20 drones instead of just one and attach it to something to carry you.

Everyone in the neighborhood is going to realize how special you are.

There is one video online of a man attaching quadcopters to his bathtub and flying around the town. And I think that is so silly because a bathtub is so heavy…let’s not forget that a chair weighs much less than a bathtub so he’s not going to get the flying time he wants. Sure he can clean himslef while flying but give me battery life over a clean body anyday.

A flying bathtub is a danger to the community whereas a flying chair inspires hope and positivity.

Shoes are going to help you get off the ground for only a few seconds. Michael Jordan showed us that even though he spent more time in the air than on the ground that he was still a narcisisstic person.

He had incredible self esteem that was misguided because when he attempted to play baseball he was terrible. He had to be escorted from the field by security and started raging at the umpire when he declared the ball was out…Or maybe I am thinking of John Mc Enroe…or Elton John.

I say, if you really want to get in the air, a team of 80 drones attached to your couch will do the trick… (and take your dog with you for Heaven’s sake) and fly around the town and peer through your neighbor’s windows and remind them how spcial you are and let them know you are also recording them.